You're so nebulous sometimes
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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