I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
