What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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