1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
is that a dick in a sweater?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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