Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
