why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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