So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
