you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
