What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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