mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
