I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
