I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
