Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
