ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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