WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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