Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
