So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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