Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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