FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
