Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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