I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
are you so shy because you have an std?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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