that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
