Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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