Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
