I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
