Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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