We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
