I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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