I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
