Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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