there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
