Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
