U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
