wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
