Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
