Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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