I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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