8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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