come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
