All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
