At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
