bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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