i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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