My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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