is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
