What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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