well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
