I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
