It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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