Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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