I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I did not marry a roomba.
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