I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
