what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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