It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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