She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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