You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
