I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
