Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
