i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
