remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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