don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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