I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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