you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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