youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
