Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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