Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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