I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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