i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
